Posts Tagged ‘Dreikurs’

” A power-drunk person does not enjoy his victory when you admit defeat” Rudolf Dreikurs

Florida Adlerain Annual Conference, March 1-3, 2012
www.adlerflorida.org

The last thing you want to do in a conflict is talk!

“Here we meet one of the most important obstacles to married happiness: the general belief that something can be gained by fighting. So both blame and scold and get excited—and prepare the field for the next fight. They are less interested in finding a solution than in being “right”.” Rudolf Dreikurs

“People talk too much—in anger, in bitterness. Talk can bring people together when they are in a friendly mood; but when they fight and are angry, words are as bad as slashes and whips and hurt more than physical assault.” Rudolf Dreikurs

When people are angry or hurt they often consider it their “right” to express their emotions and if the mate or child being supervised does not attend strictly to the rules being imposed-look out! A price will be paid probably with more angering, yelling, questioning, and so-called talking.

We are all to familiar with the lead-in “we need to talk,” “can we talk later,” or “I want to be honest with you.” Most often this means in-coming, take cover. Very little if any conjunctive emotions, encouragement, or problem solving is going to take place. Usually a lot of disjunctive emotions, in an effort to dominate and/or control the other person are going to be expressed. This is all under the disguise of “talking thing through”. When in actuality one person is dominating another person and he or she is exonerated because he or she is “driven” by strong emotions that must be expressed.