Posts Tagged ‘couples’

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/12/opinion/sunday/shortcomings-of-a-psychiatric-bible.html

Patients and parents concerned about mental illness have every right to be confused. The head of the federal agency that finances mental health research has just declared that the most important diagnostic manual for psychiatric diseases lacks scientific validity and needs to be bolstered by a new classification system based on biology, not just psychiatric opinion. The hitch is that such a biology-based system will not be available for a decade or more.

The DSM V is the most destructive book every written to human relations. The so-called biological disorders are voted in or voted out. If they are biological than why have a vote. That is like a committee examining your biopsy and voting on weather you have a cancerous tumor. The committee has now decided that grief is a mental disorder. At one time they voted being gay as a mental disorder. The human experience is not a mental disorder. We may be distress from the challenge of living but that does not mean you have a mental illness with a biological basis. Instead, ordinary people being hurt by life events. Psychiatry has reduced being human to bio chemical reaction without any evidence. Read the article below and they admit there is no proof for a chemical imbalance. Yet they will give you addictive and dangerous brain drugs that do alter your chemistry.

Do not let anyone diagnosis you or a love one. Most of all do not let anyone give you or a love one psychiatric medication. How engaged and connected is the person making the diagnosis? How happy do they appear and do they like people?

EDITORIAL
Shortcomings of a Psychiatric Bible
By THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Published: May 11, 2013

Patients and parents concerned about mental illness have every right to be confused. The head of the federal agency that finances mental health research has just declared that the most important diagnostic manual for psychiatric diseases lacks scientific validity and needs to be bolstered by a new classification system based on biology, not just psychiatric opinion. The hitch is that such a biology-based system will not be available for a decade or more.
Related in Opinion

Opinion: Why the Fuss Over the D.S.M.-5? (May 12, 2013)
Today’s Editorials

Dr. Thomas Insel, director of the National Institute of Mental Health, posted his critique of the manual in a “Director’s Blog”on April 29 and expanded on his reasoning in a recent interview with The New York Times. He was critiquing a forthcoming revision of the American Psychiatric Association ’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the first major reissue since 1994. Although there have been controversies over particular changes in diagnostic descriptions, he said, the new revision involves “mostly modest alterations” from its predecessor.

The psychiatric association’s diagnoses are mostly based on a professional consensus about what clusters of symptoms are associated with a disease, like depression, and not on any objective laboratory measure, like blood counts or other biological markers. The mental health institute says scientists have not produced the data needed to design a system based on biomarkers or cognitive measures. To fill the gap, the agency started a program two years ago to finance research in biology, genetics, neuroscience, cognitive science and other disciplines with the ultimate goal of helping scientists define disorders by their causes, rather than their symptoms.

The underlying problem is that research on mental disorders and treatment has stalled in the face of the incredible complexity of the brain. That is why major pharmaceutical companies have scaled back their programs to develop new psychiatric drugs; they cannot find new biological targets to shoot for. And that is why President Obama has started a long-term brain research initiative to develop new tools and techniques to study how billions of brain cells and neural circuits interact; the findings could lead to better ways to diagnose and treat psychiatric illnesses, though probably not for many years.

Meanwhile, the diagnostic manual remains the best tool to guide clinicians on how to diagnose disorders and treat patients. Consensus among mental health professionals will have to suffice until we can augment it with something better.

There is no medical basis for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. ADHD is a list of behaviors (that annoy teachers) that does not reflect a real syndrome, underlying disorder, or medical condition. Interventions involving parent education, encouragement, discipline, and making school an interesting place could solve the problem.

Instead, stimulants/amphetamines are used on the children, which does two things. It makes them compulsive and they lack interest in others. This passive child may make the class more orderly and the home quieter but it’s a high price to pay. It does not enhance their performance in school. The child becomes compulsive and is able to perform lower order types of activities but not higher order learning.

The use of stimulates on children, such as Adderall and Ritalin, are addictive and can impair their physical growth, cause serious developmental delays, harm their brains, interfere with their ability to be emotional self reliant, prevents them from being children, and increases the chance of future drug problems (by 20%).

The drugs are used to control the child and take away their personhood. Long-term use can harm the brain (brain shrinkage). The majority of diagnoses come from the school. As of today, I have not heard of any home school children having the ADHD diagnosis.
We are actually medicating them for behaving like children. A teacher or parent who decides to become responsible and provide guidance and leadership to the child can correct the problem.

Check out Peter Breggin, MD, Talk Back to Ritalin and Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal

“Finally, Maslow gently railed against the conformist ideology of the times. We can learn one key lesson from self-actualizers, he said: fulfillment in life never comes from following the crowd, but only from being faithful to one’s yearnings and talents. Social adjustment should never under no circumstance be seen as a way to happiness: rather, the path may lie in resisting prevailing values. As he often asked rhetorically, ‘The question is–adjustment to what?’ p. 216

The Right To Be Human, Edward Hoffman

If you read a self-help book, study the Bible, or go to therapy but don’t practice, it will not help. Only practicing what you are learning will change occur. The highest form of change is practicing what you are learning.

The Buddha said, “If someone is standing on one shore and wants to go to the other shore, he has to either use a boat or swim across. He cannot just pray, ‘Oh, other shore, please come over here for me to step across!’” To a Buddhist, praying without practicing is not real prayer.

“You cannot solve your problems by taking psychoactive substances that impair your mind and the expression of your sprit. From illegal drugs to psychiatric medications, drugs suppress and distort our real emotions and should be avoided, especially in time of suffering and fear when we need to know what we are feeling to control our actions.”

Peter Breggin, M.D., Medication Madness

“Whatever goes on between two people is reciprocal and promoted by both, although it may look as if one of them started the motion hence is responsible for the action.” R. Dreikurs

1. Needing to be Right
a. Finding out whose view is more “valid” or “accurate”.
b. Leads to endless “objectivity” battles
c. Fuels the psychological violence of self-righteous indignation.

2. Controlling Your partner
a. Can be direct or indirect such as using one’s “sensitivity” such as tears (water power)
b. Humans do not like being controlled.

3. Unbridled Self-Expression
a. “I have the right and need to share my feelings with you –and you will listen.
b. Idea that all sharing is authentic and will increase closeness. Not true.
c. Rarely engenders generosity in other.

4.Retaliation
a. Perverse justice: “offending from the victims position.
b. Getting even, “you will suffer like I suffer”.

5. Withdrawal
a. Differs from responsible distance taking.
b. Another form of a fight—engaged or disengaged same end of the stick.
c. Form of punishment-I will teach you a lesson.

1. Stop criticizing. Not an easy step to take. However, it is an effective beginning toward changing the lines of communication from negative to positive.
2. Restructure relations. Tell your teenager at a quiet time that you have been thinking things over and wish to make some changes in your own attitude.
3. Establish a relationship of equity with your teenager. This, of course, does not mean that you, the parents, should give the child things which are excessively costly or service which puts you in the position of servant.
4. Set some logical limits. For example discuss where you think he or she should go socially, the appropriate hour for getting home, and the number of times per week for going out. If all are quietly talking and trying to solve the problem, letting go of the power struggle between each side, it is possible to reach some agreement.
5. Once an agreement is reached the teenager should then take the responsibility to carry through. It should not be the parent who has to ask, “Where are you going?” or the child who asks, “May I go to Ann’s house?” The teenager should simply state, “I am going to Ann’s house and will return at 10:30.” In turn, the adults should tell there teens where they are going and when they expect to return home.
6. When you talk, state your feelings, but do not imply that only you are right.
7. Listen to what your teenager has to say. Do not interrupt. Take the time to think about what has been said and ask the same courtesy for yourself, but stress that what you say is only your opinion.
8. Do not expect more from your teenager than you do from yourself.
9. You may have to change the lesions you are teaching by example. For example, if you want a teenager to stop smoking and you, yourself, smoke; see if you can both agree to stop. And even if no agreement is reached, you stop anyway!
10. Become willing to be taught by your teenager. Show interest in what he or she tells you. This will encourage friendship.
11. Enjoy the companionship of your teenager. Parents may invite the teenager to join them in some activity, which they enjoy. Do not be hurt if you are refused; remember this is the age for breaking away from parents.
12. Try to learn the teenage language and do not get angry at its use. This does not mean that you have to use it.
13. Live and let live. Trying to fashion your teenager in your own image will not work.
14. You may need counseling. A psychologist or family counselor may save much time and effort and help you change yourself or your behavior.
15. Let go, and let your teenager grow up.
16. Show your affection for your teenager with an occasional hug, an arm around the shoulder, a pat on the back, and expressions of appreciation.
17. You cannot give permission for a teenager to do anything illegal or allow the teenager to break the law while living with you.
18. You do not have to spend money on teenagers for any object or activity of which you disapprove.
19. You should be willing to listen carefully to proposed ventures and to discuss these sympathetically, giving your opinions. You may withhold your blessing, but you should not threaten or give an outright refusal.
20. In crisis situations, such as accidents while driving or arrests, the less said in heat, the better. Wait until everything has calmed down.

There is a lot of evidence that supports the use of Choice Theory and other Third Force Psychologies that focus on maintaining and improving the relationships. Especially staying away from external control psychology (Rewards and Punishment) and instead making use of encouragement (not praise) natural and on occasion logical consequences (4R of a logical consequences). There is a lot of confusion over what constitutes “emotional attachment”. Choice Theory, Adlerian Psychology, Person-Center Therapy, all offer helpful ideas of how to stay connected to the important people in our lives. For instances, empathy is a way to provide understanding and therefore belonging to those we love.

Although, I think the quality of time is as important as the amount of time with our teens. You can spend a lot of disconnecting time with our teens, children, and spouse (deadly habits). In addition, being overly focused on the need of our teens, not only develops self-centered human beings, but also takes away their self-confidence and ability to leave home.

Tampa Tribune, September 11, 1997.
Secure teenagers don’t take drugs

A Washington Post report
Teenagers who have strong emotional attachments to their parents and teachers are much less likely to use drugs and alcohol, attempt suicide, engage in violence or become sexually active at an early age, according to the largest-ever study of American adolescents.
The study, published in Wednesday’s Journal of the American Medical Association, concludes that feeling loved, understood and paid attention to by parents helps teenagers avoid high-risk activities regardless of whether a child comes from a one or two-parent household. It is also more important than the amount of time parents spend at home, the study found.
At school, positive relationships with teachers were found to be more important in protecting teenagers than any other factor, including classroom size or teacher training.
Researchers also found that young people who have jobs requiring them to work 20 or more hours a week, regardless of family economic status, are more likely to use alcohol and drugs, smoke cigarettes, engage in early sex and report emotional distress.
While the amount of time spent with parents had a positive effect on reducing emotional distress, feeling connected to parents was five times more powerful. And this emotional bond was about six times more important than was the amount of various activities that teenagers did with their parents.

He who learns must suffer, and, even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.

Aeschylus

Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results. Bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is but saying that nothing can come from corn but corn, nothing from nettles but nettles. Men understand this law in the natural world, and work with it. But few understand it in the mental and moral world (though its operation there is just as simple and undeviating), and they therefore, do not cooperate with it.

Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, and the law of being.

As A Man Thinketh, James Allen