Interesting ideas on Love, Happiness, & the Together Experience
1. It’s not finding the "right" person as much as meeting someone who wants to work things out
2. To keep a relationship going we need to:
a. Learn how to enjoy each other's company b. Learn how to spend time together
c. Learn how to encourage each other
d. Have fun together
3. The key to a healthy relationship is equality. It boils down to a couple living as equally dignified human beings. Trouble moves in when one person feels "less than"
4. You’re in a healthy relationship when you and your partner want more of the same and you do not try to change each other. Attempting to change each other leads to trouble. It conveys you are not good enough. "You need to do more in order to become a full fledged human being." When you attempt to change the other person, the seven deadly sins are always applied and lead to relationship breakdown.
5. All couples know how to communicate. It’s how they use their communication that makes the difference. Do they communicate to hurt or punish? Without respect "improved communications" becomes a weapon and not a tool! Couples could benefit more from learning how to encourage self and others, useful cooperation, and negotiation.
Characteristics for Creating the Together Experience
A. Work for improvement, not perfection.
B. Build on strengths, not weaknesses.
C. Show you believe in your partner's decision making.
D. Mistakes can be viewed as challenges for you as a couple to solve.
E. Failures will stimulate special effort when there remains hope of eventual success.
F. Cooperation not competition. Power and control separate creating loneliness, while
cooperation moves towards equality, understanding, and fulfillment.
Six Practices Necessary for a Marriage
1. Make the relationship a priority;
2. Conduct respectful daily dialogue;
3. Practice encouragement daily;
4. Make decisions through shared involvement, Problem Solving Circle;
5. Conflict resolution;
6. Have fun on a regular basis.