Rules of Engagement
When someone is speaking we are respectful, listen, and do not interrupt. We wait until they have completed their statements.
Listen to understand versus listening to be right.
You can be right or you can be connected you cannot be both. We agree to stay out of “who is right and who is wrong” discussions.
We agree to look for commonalities not differences. Where is it we can agree?
No blaming, complaining, withdrawing, criticizing, rewarding, punishing, eye rolling, engaging in put-downs. All deadly habits.
We agree the goal is to improve cooperation and not to pursue any of the useless goals: Attention Getting, Power, Revenge, Inadequacy or displayed helplessness.
No brining up what happen in the past. We will not dwell on things that did not work in the past and instead focus on problem solving. What can be done now?
We agree to problem solve not to fight. This includes a conscience and sincere effort to refrain from unproductive arguing, venting, or narrations. We agree to respect each others perspective, view point, and listen sincerely and respectfully of each other’s needs and interest.
We agree that no one single individual should dominate the discussion or floor. Maximum time some one is allowed to talk is?
We agree questions can only be for clarification not a form of interrogation or to draw someone out. Refrain from questions.
Each person is responsible to speak up for him or her self and to take care of self. We will speak up if something is not working and will not rely on others to talk for us.
The mediators are to referees and do not decide who is right or wrong. Instead they are there to facilitate respectful and healthy relationships.
We agree to keep it friendly.
We agree that no one is against you; instead we are there to help each other. Keep it friendly