Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results. Bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is but saying that nothing can come from corn but corn, nothing from nettles but nettles. Men understand this law in the natural world, and work with it. But few understand it in the mental and moral world (though its operation there is just as simple and undeviating), and they therefore, do not cooperate with it.

Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, and the law of being.

As A Man Thinketh, James Allen

One of the most important propositions, which underlie the entire idea of cooperation, is the ability to participate in the give and take of life. To achieve a satisfying marriage of equality and cooperation, which in turn will lead to felicity and lifelong happiness, it is necessary for you to give in—TO REFUSE TO FIGHT- and to GO ALONG WITH YOUR MATE- out of strength and confidence and not out of weakness. By taking the position and keeping to it, you can change, improve, and save your marriage. Your stubbornness, being always “right,” and demanding your own way, and the like will doom your marriage to unhappiness.

We may pretend we are happy and nothing is wrong, but we can’t pretend to be healthy; we don’t have that kind of control over our physiology.

William Glasser, Choice Theory, p. 85

Courage, is taking action, knowing you will make a mistake, and you do it anyway.

“There is the morality of cleverness and wit, in which success means getting the better of the other person by means of a slick business deal or a clever answer, the worst sin is letting someone take advantage of you, and the worst punishment is the shame, having other people think less of you for having been bettered. Then there is the morality of social interest, in which the highest good is thoughtfulness towards others, the worst sin is hurting another person, and the worst punishment is guilt, thinking less of yourself for what you have done.” pp.20-21.

Living a Life that Matters by Harold Kushner

1. Stop criticizing. Not an easy step to take. However, it is an effective beginning
toward changing the lines of communication from negative to positive.
2. Restructure relations. Tell your teenager at a quiet time that you have been
thinking things over and wish to make some changes in your own attitude.
3. Establish a relationship of equity with your teenager. This, of course, does not
mean that you, the parents, should give the child things which are excessively
costly or service which puts you in the position of servant.
4. Set some logical limits. For example discuss where you think he or she should go
socially, the appropriate hour for getting home, and the number of times per week
for going out. If all are quietly talking and trying to solve the problem, letting go
of the power struggle between each side, it is possible to reach some agreement.
5. Once an agreement is reached the teenager should then take the
responsibility to carry through. It should not be the parent who has to ask,
“Where are you going?” or the child who asks, “May I go to Ann’s house?” The
teenager should simply state, “I am going to Ann’s house and will return at
10:30.” In turn, the adults should tell there teens where they are going and when
they expect to return home.
6. When you talk, state your feelings, but do not imply that only you are right.
7. Listen to what your teenager has to say. Do not interrupt. Take the time to think
about what has been said and ask the same courtesy for yourself, but stress that
what you say is only your opinion.

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“As soon as you become unhappy with your teenager, you tend to stop doing things with him and start doing things to him, things that I will soon describe as the seven deadly habits. As long as you are happy with your teenager, you did more things with him and encouraged him to do more things for himself. The happier you both are, the more you do with each other.” William Glasser, For Parents and Teenagers

Want to learn more about parent-child/teen relationships, getting along with your spouse, understanding your self and other? Check out the conference March 3, 4, 5, at Safety Harbor Resort, Safety Harbor Florida. Brochure on our website, Solving the Life Tasks Together. You do not have to be a professional to attend, only someone interested in improving your relationship with self or others.

The assumption of a “natural masculine” superiority has always been a threat to women and men alike. To unknowingly over state the “superiority” of masculinity and understate the value of “femininity” creates disharmony within our self and in our relationships. Equality does not mean sameness but mutual respect and dignity in spite of our inherent differences.