Posts Tagged ‘carter and evans’

http://video.foxnews.com/v/2413423896001/powerful-psychiatric-drugs-harmful-to-veterans/

Watch this link.
These cocktails are being served to a lot of people with tragic results.

My guests are wife and husband Geri Carter and Tim Evans, both Adlerian psychologists and family therapists. After celebrating our great empathic therapies conference this past weekend, we spend most of the show talking about the importance of relationship and how to make a good marriage the center of our lives. Podcast: …

http://prn.fm/category/archives/the-dr-peter-breggin-hour/#axzz2SVyRV592

“Adults adopt the stance of being “cool” and free from intense feelings of any sort. But such counter-valuing is another form of suppressing our highest nature:

If you are a man and you are are not struck dumb by your woman once in a while, you’re missing something, you’re being blind to something which is there—and vice versa, of course. As a matter of fact, there is as much de-sacrilizing of the male by our females as there is the other way around. It’s just isn’t done. Its permitted, I think, still for a husband to adore his wife: that is, to get really sloppy about it in a nice way. I don’t think it’s possible anymore for a woman to get sloppy about their husbands. I think that is forbidden.”

Abraham Maslow in The Right to Be Human, by Ed Hoffman

Life is made of one-third what I choose to do with my thoughts, behaviors, and attitude. Another one-third is the choices people around me make, in which I have no control. Hopefully, my wife will continue to choose to be with me. I cannot control her choice. I can decide how I will behave in hopes that she will find me pleasant and interesting, but in the end, the choice is hers. The final third, which again I cannot control, is what the universe, biology, nature, or what some believe God determines. I have no control over a hurricane hitting Tampa, my cat having heart disease, or a friend getting cancer. This is biology. I do have a choice in how I interpret and relate to those specific events (again my one-third).

If we live long enough, we will encounter events that force us to face our vulnerability as human beings. This can be interpreted as an injustice because “I have been doing everything right (if there is such a way) therefore nothing bad should ever happen to me.” This “injustice” may be because of someone else’s choice or biology. When it occurs, I will experience vulnerability and know that I am not totally independent. Some may guard against these feelings of vulnerability and say his wife’s cancer is the work of the devil. These life events will test our emotional self-reliance (self-responsibility) and push us to need others.

When we confront and experience our vulnerability we receive a dose of humility, which connects us to others. From these incidents, we will learn there is only one genuine need we all have and that is other people.

Since the beginning of time, human beings have misbehaved and made poor choices. Take for example the story of Joseph in the Book of Genesis. His brothers sold Joseph, the youngest and special son, into slavery. This was the beginning of Joseph’s trouble. He was falsely accused of having sex with his owner’s wife and thrown into prison. Yet he survived. Before he reached age 30 he was appointed as a top official by the ruler of Egypt. He predicted a famine and was put in charge of a food storage that saved the region. His brothers were forced to journey into the city seeking food, starving, and begging. Who did they appear before? Joseph! His chance to get even.

So it would seem that justice will prevail and what goes around comes around. His brothers did not recognize him and Joseph’s natural inclination was revenge. However, Joseph recognized that revenge was an easy way out. The courageous choice — and the only way to be happy — was forgiveness. One difference between happy and unhappy individuals is the ability to forgive.

Tragedy, error, inhumanity, and struggle will not go away. However, the realization that you have a choice in how you respond is powerful and influences your happiness and well-being, in spite of the other two-thirds. Forgiveness is done through the use of good psychology. It requires courage, emotional self-reliance, and a desire to be free.

Anyone who has done you harm will continue to have a stranglehold on your life, until you are willing to forgive them and free yourself from the resentment, anger, hurt, injustice, and sometime hatred.

Joseph took an active approach to the injustice and pain inflicted upon him. He used the situation to become socially interested instead of self-interested.

Forgiveness is an active process that requires these steps:
• I will not bring up the incident again and use it against you.
• I will not talk to others about this incident.
• I will not let this incident stand between our personal relationships.
• To do this I will not dwell or ruminate over the problem or punish you by withdrawing and keeping emotional distance.
• I will free the relationship to develop, unhindered of the past wrongs.

Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal is a book for the seasoned professional and the beginning graduate student, as well as for the patient and the family. This is in keeping with Dr. Breggin’s emphasis on a collaborative team approach to treatment and especially to drug withdrawal. This is not a book you will read once, but one you will have by your side, as a reference, for helping a love one or your client.

The first ten chapters inform us of the effects psychiatric drugs have on our brains and educate us regarding specific drugs. In chapter 11, Dr. Breggin, using his years of clinical experiences, puts all the ingredients together and demonstrates how to help individuals regain their lives from the disabling effects of drugs. Dr. Breggin does this by putting counseling and psychotherapy back in the forefront as the intervention and not the drugs. He gives respect and dignity back to the counseling process, including the active participation of the client and at times the family.

It is refreshing to read a book renewing the use of the core conditions (empathy, genuineness, and positive self-regard) as necessary and sufficient in helping clients’ function effectively. This is a long stretch from the medical model, which mistrusts human nature, relies on brain drugs, and denies self-responsibility. Dr. Breggin invites us to use what works, empathy and a therapeutic relationship.

This is a book that is both academic and clinical, and at the same time easily read by clients and families. A rare combination for the practicing therapist. His years of experience researching the effects of psychiatric medications combined with being an excellent practitioner are explained in a systematic and effective manner. You will learn the effects of drugs and how to approach your client in a collaborative and humane manner. This is what we need. The idea that drugs are the answer has failed and at the high cost of human suffering.

“You cannot solve your problems by taking psychoactive substances that impair your mind and the expression of your sprit. From illegal drugs to psychiatric medications, drugs suppress and distort our real emotions and should be avoided, especially in time of suffering and fear when we need to know what we are feeling to control our actions.”

Peter Breggin, M.D., Medication Madness

1. Stop criticizing. Not an easy step to take. However, it is an effective beginning toward changing the lines of communication from negative to positive.
2. Restructure relations. Tell your teenager at a quiet time that you have been thinking things over and wish to make some changes in your own attitude.
3. Establish a relationship of equity with your teenager. This, of course, does not mean that you, the parents, should give the child things which are excessively costly or service which puts you in the position of servant.
4. Set some logical limits. For example discuss where you think he or she should go socially, the appropriate hour for getting home, and the number of times per week for going out. If all are quietly talking and trying to solve the problem, letting go of the power struggle between each side, it is possible to reach some agreement.
5. Once an agreement is reached the teenager should then take the responsibility to carry through. It should not be the parent who has to ask, “Where are you going?” or the child who asks, “May I go to Ann’s house?” The teenager should simply state, “I am going to Ann’s house and will return at 10:30.” In turn, the adults should tell there teens where they are going and when they expect to return home.
6. When you talk, state your feelings, but do not imply that only you are right.
7. Listen to what your teenager has to say. Do not interrupt. Take the time to think about what has been said and ask the same courtesy for yourself, but stress that what you say is only your opinion.
8. Do not expect more from your teenager than you do from yourself.
9. You may have to change the lesions you are teaching by example. For example, if you want a teenager to stop smoking and you, yourself, smoke; see if you can both agree to stop. And even if no agreement is reached, you stop anyway!
10. Become willing to be taught by your teenager. Show interest in what he or she tells you. This will encourage friendship.
11. Enjoy the companionship of your teenager. Parents may invite the teenager to join them in some activity, which they enjoy. Do not be hurt if you are refused; remember this is the age for breaking away from parents.
12. Try to learn the teenage language and do not get angry at its use. This does not mean that you have to use it.
13. Live and let live. Trying to fashion your teenager in your own image will not work.
14. You may need counseling. A psychologist or family counselor may save much time and effort and help you change yourself or your behavior.
15. Let go, and let your teenager grow up.
16. Show your affection for your teenager with an occasional hug, an arm around the shoulder, a pat on the back, and expressions of appreciation.
17. You cannot give permission for a teenager to do anything illegal or allow the teenager to break the law while living with you.
18. You do not have to spend money on teenagers for any object or activity of which you disapprove.
19. You should be willing to listen carefully to proposed ventures and to discuss these sympathetically, giving your opinions. You may withhold your blessing, but you should not threaten or give an outright refusal.
20. In crisis situations, such as accidents while driving or arrests, the less said in heat, the better. Wait until everything has calmed down.

He who learns must suffer, and, even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.

Aeschylus

Disconnectedness is the source of almost all human problems, such as what is called mental illness, drug addiction, violence crime, school failure, spousal and child abuse, to mention a few.

“We too have the power to choose happiness over righteousness. Righteousness means remembering every time someone hurts us or disappoints us, and never letting them forget it (and—frightening thought—giving them the right remember every time we hurt them or let them down and constantly remind us of it). Happiness means giving people the right to be human, to be weak and selfish and occasionally forgetful, and realizing that we have no alternative to living with imperfect people.

Boston Globe columnist Linda Weltner makes the point in a story she tells. She remembers sitting in a park watching children at play. Two children get into an argument, and one says to the other, “I hate you! I’m never going to play with you again!” For a few minutes, they play separately, and then they are back sharing their toys with each other. Ms. Weltner remarks to another mother, “How do children do that? How do they manage to be so angry with each other one minute, and the best of friends the next?” The other mother answers, “It’s easy. They choose happiness over righteousness”.

The quest for righteousness estranges people each other; the quest for happiness enables them to get past their shortcomings and connect with each other. And strange as it may seem, happiness may be a more authentically religious value than righteousness. “

From:
Harold Kushner, How Good Do WE Have to Be? pp. 108-109

Book available on our website.